Dear ‘everyone-who-is-fighting-a-battle-within’

A part of me is sure as eggs is eggs that it would not have been wrong had I typed just ‘everyone’ because the nature of content people are posting and sharing these days, to mostly garner approval and validation and to some extent, express what they are going through on the inside, makes their struggle almost palpable. You could be looking for solace in the memories of the days gone by because of the comfort it gave you or the pain you could not get rid of or you could be desperately waiting for a happier tomorrow, you could be drowning in the immeasurable pool of insecurities or you could be exhausted of swimming relentlessly to prove your potential, you could be counting the scars your friends, family, strangers, relatives, ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/partner gave you or you could be guilty of having left someone heartbroken and devoid of hope, you could be waiting to be with people who make you feel like home or you could be wondering how you could feel so homeless while being at what they call your home, you could be wanting to be an unrealistically ambitious kid again or you could be considering seeing a face/palm reader to know what the future has in store for you, you could be yearning for a break or you could be tired of the break you didn’t ask for, you could be too curvy for that dress or too skinny for that pair of jeans, you could be so sensitive to be crying while watching some fictional characters die in a movie or you could be kneeling and begging and praying to be able to cry, you could be feeling like a loser who is lagging behind in every race of life or you could be feeling like a bigger loser because you have forgotten how to stop and get out of the trap this idea of racing is, you could wake up feeling this unexplained heaviness in your chest or you could be in a position wherein your understanding has come to your partial rescue, rendering you the capability to trace the origin of your despair- whatever battle you are fighting or have been fighting for quite some time now, please know that it is YOURS. It doesn’t matter how often your mother makes your favorite dish or the number of letters your boyfriend writes you or the gifts your girlfriend gets you or the reminders your friends give you to let you know how much you mean to them because your wounds require YOU to apply the bandage of self love before you expose those to others. It definitely helps a lot to have some understanding, genuinely caring and compassionate people around but their efforts will go in vain if you don’t love yourself enough to let go because you, only you are aware of how it actually feels, where it bites, what its extent is, how much it hurts and how deep it goes. You find your own self startled at how easily you could be triggered some times and in circumstances like these, irrespective of the number of people that surround you, only you are in charge of cleaning the mess within because it is YOURS and also because, expecting others to fix you is only going to make you feel more miserable. There are people who would promise to hold your hand through thick and thin and while some of them actually mean it, no one can accompany you once you are in the battlefield and fight your battles on your behalf. The ones who love you can protect you from many anticipated episodes of destruction and prepare you for the unexpected ones. But, no one is capable of becoming your shield if you are a prisoner of your own mind, because no one can save you from yourself except YOU.